The Healing and Manifestation power of Holding Polarity

I like to share my views of how I believe healing and manifestation to work through my own lived experience.

2.5 years ago when I got divorced was the first time I started to really notice holding polarity becoming integrated in my being. Its not an easy thing to do. I think it’s the most fundamental quality that keeps relationships strong. Holding polarity within a relationship means when a disagreement arises one can hold their own lived experience as true as well as the other’s lived experience without making either one wrong or better- focusing solely on understanding each other and finding a way to work WITH both realities.

Grandmother Ayahuasca and the Mushrooms have worked with me on holding polarity many times- showing me in varying ways that right and wrong/good and bad do not exist- there is only what is- and if one can hold what is without judgement- that is the sweet spot called peace. It is also the sweet spot where one is not resisting one thing and trying to grasp at another. When we do this we force ourselves into a state of stagnation, either blocking both sides or unconsciously continuing to manifest the thing that we are resisting.

What you resist, persists.

So why is this topic alive for me right now?

I recently had the opportunity to receive advice from a successful published author on how to move forward with my memoir. What he told me was a total contradiction to everything I had been praying for.

You see, I’ve seen my prayers work. Ive prayed for $30,000 and received it in a very short amount of time and more through a totally unforeseen opportunity. You’ll likely hear me speak about this happening in many of my shares because honestly- im still wrapping my head around it- there’s so much to dissect about the prayer itself, how it happened, and the strings that were attached that cost me more than the money was worth.

But back to my prayers- I had been praying continuously for all the support I need In my medicine work and in my creative work. I had prayed daily for an aligned editor, who sees my vision, and can help me make sure the message I want to come through my memoir lands in the best way. I also prayed for an aligned publishing company to publish my book and give me the funds to devote myself to fine tuning my memoir from a soft, creative state- instead of from any survival mode and having to spread my energy in multiple directions to make ends meet while completing it. I also prayed for an aligned PR and marketing team to help me make the book successful- I believe in my bones that this book is GOOD- and that people will want to read it- but they just need to hear about it first!

So the advice I got was that the days of a first time author getting published from a publishing company are rare- and that even if I do find one, they wont be doing any marketing for me- it will still be fully my responsibility to gain a following.

The wind in my sales were deflated. I deeply wanted support. Yet, at the same time a sense of autonomy and empowerment washed over me.

I began to realize what many artists have spoken about - which is the need to keep ownership over their work. We have heard of so many artists- especially musical artists who have been forced to dilute their music for the sake of what the label believes people want to hear, all while taking a large part of their profits. So I started to see that what I had prayed for, while it sounded good, may not actually be what’s best for me. But then there is the caveat- I prayed for all of the support to be ALIGNED. So this means all of these humans on my support team would all be working for the highest and best good of me and my vision.

So here is where holding polarity came in- I began to accept and feel up to the challenge of sharing myself more online and doing the work necessary to make sure my book is seen by those that need it AND I felt strongly that it would benefit me to simultaneously hold my prayer- knowing that just because the general consensus is that first time authors benefit from self publishing- doesn’t mean thats MY reality.

The truth is, I believe I am living in a reality that is far different from the general consensus- I mean I channel aliens for goodness sake! I don’t mean that I’m special- I mean that I have done such deep healing work on my unconscious limiting beliefs that I KNOW anything is possible. This work has the ability to be far more magnetic and traction breaking than 200 online posts.

So im holding both truths by showing up every day and doing something to assist my memoir happening- without support aside from my guides and the creative genius that lives inside of me - and im holding the vision that I may stumble into conversation with an amazing human, we easefully connect over our human experiences, and we find that our projects overlap- them an editor/publisher- and me a writer. Or maybe an angel donor shows up- and chooses to support my mission. The possibilities of how this could work out far easier than imagined are endless- and that is where I will focus my energy all while staying fully present and fully devoted to playing a role in the process from the ground up.

I believe from this place theres no resistance on either side and therefore im not leaking energy and magnetic to both ways of this playing out.

To the infinite possibilities available to us in any moment- as long as we let go of our preconceived notions of how it should happen.

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Thank you for reading my substack article. Last year I completed the first draft of my memoir- a soulful, funny, emotional, and deeply esoteric recount of how my Catholic upbringing led me down a path of rebellion as a Sex Worker, which became the initiation that would eventually help me to find my souls calling as a Shamanic Healer. I intricately weave the wisdom I have gained from the shamanic realms on Soul Contracts, Karma, dark entities, and Sacred Sexuality into how and why my story unfolded how it did. This substack is to serve my higher purpose- To dismantle the distortion of sacred sexuality and help humans find their way back into sacred union with self and other. I believe the path to this is through Transparency - which is the title to my memoir and the value system in which I write from. You can trust that anything I share is authentic, true, and without AI distortion.

If you like my writing, stay tuned for more- as I will continue to share here as a joyful side project while I devote myself to fine tuning my memoir to self publish next year. I welcome all support, whether it be financial or advice from fellow writers or kind reflections from other human beings.